Reasons renewed

Now I'm ready to write a little more personal reflection on watching the funeral. I have been away from writing for a significant period and it feels really wrong. In recent weeks I have felt positively nagged by it. Then conversely, disillusioned with any effort. Writing is work and requires vision, passion. Work and passion must be joined by discipline. And with the reengagement with writing comes a renewed struggle to recommit to all three, the work, the vision, and the discipline. To do that I must ask myself repeatedly, why do I want to write? For what purpose? What's motivating me to do so?

The first part of this answer lies in acknowledging a satisfaction I derive from writing that I don't experience any where else. I try to understanding this intellectually. Is it ego that drives me? Is a failure of some other dynamic in my life in me that pushes me to write? Is something that I just need to get 'out of my system'? I don't know what or how the psychological draw to writing operates in me. I just know that it's persistant. Next, I recognize that in my life situations I have had the good fortune to experience certain successes and encouragements. Even though they are not recent they still stir a sense of possibility, and a need to reconnect with my writing practices. Then last of all, there is a spiritual dimension to the issue. If I can find opportunities to provide spiritual support to others by writing I wish to do so. I have the nagging "ought to's" about writing, it's what I ought to be doing, in one form or another.
I have the past couple weeks had an increasing interest in getting back into the writing habit. Even bought a new pen. However, it was the remarks made by Pres. Bush this morning about Ronald Reagan and how he viewed his mission on earth, how he recognized God's call on our nation as well as on himself, and how he put all his energies in to serving these purposes that has been a great source of encouragement today. I'm not especially patriotic or nationally minded, but I am convinced that God has created us to walk in his good purposes and we each have a responsibility to identify both his purposes as well as the tools and opportunities he presents for us to employ them. That is the vision I came away with from the funeral. May it strengthen my work, passion and discipline in the days ahead.